Deliberate Parenthood Unveils New Warmth-Searching for Abortion Drone

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NEW YORK—Touting its state-of-the-art know-how able to detecting a fetus simply three weeks after conception, Deliberate Parenthood introduced Friday that it had developed and constructed its first totally purposeful heat-seeking abortion drone. “This drone, which options an intrauterine infrared digicam and three,000 kilos of anti-embryonic missiles, can search and destroy a clump of cells the dimensions of a pinhead,” stated CEO Alexis McGill Johnson, including that the unmanned aerial automobile, which reportedly has a variety of 1,200 miles and might be piloted from any Deliberate Parenthood clinic, is able to recording detailed ultrasounds and eliminating a goal throughout any section of gestation. “Because of the greater than $50 million in authorities funding we obtained for this challenge, we lastly have an abortion drone that may hold our medical doctors secure whereas performing abortions from 50,000 ft within the air. We’ve already deployed it in distant, beforehand inaccessible elements of the US, and have eradicated numerous embryos with minimal civilian casualties.” At press time, Deliberate Parenthood acknowledged stories that pro-life protestors had shot the abortion drone straight out of the sky proper because it was about to strike a marriage.

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